


Disappearing Like The Wind

by nightberrypearl



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, No happiness here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 06:33:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14889449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightberrypearl/pseuds/nightberrypearl
Summary: They always celebrated Jonghyun's birthday together.They had promised to spend every birthday, every significant moment, together.They were supposed to spend their lives together.





	Disappearing Like The Wind

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the lyrics of Daybreak - the 2hyun anthem

Minhyun made it his highest priority every year to celebrate Jonghyun’s birthday with him. He made sure that he never had any plans on that day – not that he ever really had plans on any day.

No-one else ever came to celebrate with Minhyun. They understood that Minhyun needed his time alone with Jonghyun and Minhyun appreciated the privacy that their friends wordlessly gave them. They knew that they could see Jonghyun another time and so they let Jonghyun’s birthday be the day Minhyun could have Jonghyun all to himself.

This year was no different.

Every year, he made sure to buy a cake. It was always a cheesecake. Jonghyun liked cheesecake. He would set it down between them with the candles lit, and he would sit with Jonghyun for hours and count down until midnight, until the 8th of June finally came rolling around.

This year’s cake was a simple one bought from the same bakery that Minhyun always went to. Plain white cream icing spread thinly over the sides of a fluffy cheesecake, just the way Jonghyun liked it.

_‘Mmmmm… It’s so fluffy, it’s like eating a cloud.’ Jonghyun had proclaimed through a mouthful of cake._

Minhyun smiled at the memory. Remembering the way Jonghyun’s eyes lit up with joy when Minhyun had appeared at his door step with a cake in one hand and a bouquet of red roses in the other. They had almost ended up with the cake splattered on the floor when, in his haste and excitement, he had moved to hug Minhyun but only ended up tripping on his own feet and crashing straight into him. If it weren’t for Minhyun’s fast reflexes, he would have had to go and buy another cake.

In the past few years, it had become a tradition that Minhyun would turn up with a cheesecake and a bouquet of flowers. Though it hadn’t been red roses in a while. The flowers that Minhyun would bring were the only things that changed over the years; changing between orchids, white lilies, hyacinths and a few others.

Today he had a bouquet of pink and white carnations.

He had visited Jonghyun often enough that he could probably find him with his eyes closed. Their friends used to joke that Minhyun must have some sort of sixth sense for knowing where Jonghyun was.

_‘It’s only natural for me to know where the other half to my whole is.’_

Jonghyun always cringed when he said that.

_‘You’re so cheesy.’_

_‘Maybe, but you still love me.’_

_‘Yeah I do, for some strange reason.’_

_‘Hey!’_

Jonghyun always got a kick out of making fun of Minhyun. But Minhyun always knew it was just fun and games. It wasn’t serious.

He wasn’t lying when he said they were two halves of a whole.

They were each other’s everything.

He set the cake down on the ground before kneeling down on the grass, pulling out a lighter and lighting the candles one by one. With the candles lit, he lay the flowers in front of Jonghyun before settling down next to where he lay.

“It’s been another year already; can you believe it Jju?” He began.

There was no reply. Only the sound of the summer breeze and rustling grass filling the air.

“Time seems to go so quickly… but at the same time, every day drags on.” Minhyun continued. He was used to not getting any replies.

He stared blankly at the cake in front of him as he spoke, the flickering flames of the candles began to blur as his eyes filled with tears. The candles would of course be blown out by the wind eventually, or they would melt down into puddles of wax on top of the cake. Not that it mattered, no-one ever ate that cake.

Minhyun didn’t particularly like cheesecake. But he bought one every year because it was Jonghyun’s favourite.

He turned himself to face Jonghyun’s headstone, wiping away his tears so that he could look at the embedded picture of his dear beloved – a picture he remembered being taken as if it were yesterday.

He remembered the way Jonghyun had smiled and laughed at him as he had pretended to be a snooty photographer yelling bizarre commands as if he were doing a photoshoot for the latest edition of GQ Magazine.

Tears continued to stream out of his eyes as the bitter realisation that he would never see that smile again hit him.

“I miss you Jonghyun.” He choked out between sobs. “I miss you so much. Everyday I wake up hoping that this is all just a dream, that the past 5 years is just one big messed up dream. Every morning I hope to turn over to see you lying next to me. But you’re never there.”

The tears kept flowing as his emotions got the better of him, as all the pain of the past 5 years without Jonghyun came flooding back to him in an instant.

He hated that Jonghyun’s birthday has become this. He hated that a day that was meant to be full of joy and celebration had become a day of sorrow and grief. But he had made a promise to Jonghyun long ago that they would spend every birthday and every significant event together.

They were supposed to spend their lives together.  

But that reality had long been ruled out as a possibility.

“Happy Birthday Jonghyun-ah.” He whispered as his fingers reached out to trace over the engraving on the headstone.

He took another look back to the cake, the candles now melted into colourful puddles of wax on top of the pure white canvas of icing.

28 puddles of melted wax. One for each year that Jonghyun should have lived until now.

Should have. But didn’t.

It would have been his 28th birthday.

But he would never turn 28.

He didn’t even make it past 23.

 

* * *

 

_Kim Jonghyun_

_8 th June 1995 -_

_16 th June 2018_

_A friend, a brother, a lover;_

_Someone you could always believe in._

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I was sad. So I wrote more sadness. I don't even know how or why I came up with this idea. 
> 
> You have permission to yell at me. 
> 
> Twitter: [@nightberrypearl](https://twitter.com/nightberrypearl)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/nightberrypearl)


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